5. An Account on Family

I was a lone boy — not now, but in the past, where Glenn didn’t exist. In the past — long ago, or maybe not so much — I had no one to rely on; no one really cared, and frankly, I didn’t care. I lived with Johnel and Hans — my mother and father — a lonely kid who just didn’t give a fuck. There were no children before me or after me — I’m sibling-less. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to have a family, or at least have a brother — a sister would be fine, too, I guess.

Glenn casually mentioned he had an older brother — but actually, he mentioned an unfamiliar name and I naturally questioned him. It turned out the unfamiliar name belonged to his brother. He went on telling me he had a mother, father, and younger brother in Kassel, which surprised me for some unknown reason. I didn’t expect him to have such a huge family.

These new facts excited me. My demented little mind attached itself to the idea, deluding me into believing they were my siblings as well. As for his parents, I already had a pair of my own, but they were assholes. I thought that maybe Glenn’s parents were cool.

Glenn can’t read my mind since I’ve become a demon, which is cool, I guess. My thoughts are hidden, my embarrassingly faulty, insanely awkward thoughts of a complete, heartwarming family. I didn’t want him to know I felt this way.

“So when do I get to meet your family?” I questioned, trying to act indifferent to my question.

“Whenever. Wanna go right now? We’ll go if you want. Right now. We’ll take a plane this very instant — or at least we’ll leave for the airport,” he answered.

“Glenn, it’s like twelve AM. I’m sure they’re sleeping.”

Oh — and demons can’t sleep. We live on nothing, too — there is no energy source for us. We just…live.

“Kristoff is probably awake, but he doesn’t live at home anymore. He lives in Berlin. The rest are in Kassel.”

He takes my hand, pressing it lightly against his chest.

“Should I call them?”

“We’ll go tomorrow,” I said, settling in his arms for a comfortable fit.

I snuggled into the crook of his neck as he murmured, “I need to call Kristy,” absentminded, going into his own world, escaping into the deep abysses in his head.

Glenn stands from the bed carefully, holding me tight against him, reaching for his cell phone. He speaks into the phone, settling into the bed again, pushing me beside his body.

“Hey, Kristy! Why am I not surprised that you actually picked up?” I hear only the low static as his brother speaks. “Yes, I know it’s twelve-something — but I’m an incubus, remember? There’s no sleep for this man — Why are you so angry? You’re too fucking grumpy, all the fucking time. Why don’t you fuck the neighborhood slut–? Oh my god, are you serious? She dumped you? Fuck her sister! Fuck her mother! She didn’t deserve you anyway — but that still doesn’t explain why you’re angry — no shit? I didn’t know — no — yeah — you’re kidding! She really did that–? Oh my god you’re not kidding, are you–? No, I’m not seeing what’s-his-face. He’s totally history. I told you this, like, last year — No, it’s ‘cause he insisted he was straight — I don’t care about him anymore. He’s history — Yeah, but I have a new man — No, he’s not thirty. You should know I wouldn’t go for anyone past 25 — Shut up. I swear he’s not a pedo. He’s only, like, three years older. He’s actually pretty cute. You should meet him.” He paused to smile at me, his fingers running through my ratty hair. “Well why not? It’s not going to hurt you — but that doesn’t matter. We’re coming tomorrow, and then we’ll go down to Kassel together — jeez, Kristy, don’t be such a prick — why can’t you accept your brother’s sexuality–? Seriously! You always have to bring that up, don’t you? I’ve told you several times, I said it in the heat of the moment — oh, shut up. You’re coming either way. I want you to meet him — but yeah. Call Dad around ten and warn him of our arrival. We’ll pick you up at eleven by car and then we’ll use the jet. We’ll be there around twelve — yeah. Of course.” He made a smacking noise with his lips. I looked up at him as he sighed, “I love you Kristy.”

He set his phone down and kissed the top of my head.

I asked, “What are we supposed to do until then?”

Glenn shrugs his shoulders, staring off into space with a vacant stare.
˜™XXX
Glenn and I flew to Berlin around eleven. Before we left double M, he said I could cross-dress all I want because no one in his family really cared about personal style. I gleefully took advantage of this.

I wore the usual binder, holey tights, and tiny pleated skirt. In detail, I wore: two pairs of tights — the first intact, purple- and black-striped; the second massively holey and black, transparent almost — a skirt, micro as always with a pretty, frilled, pleated hem, my all-time favorite Alien Sex Fiend shirt — the top slashed, revealing my shoulders and collarbone. Instead of platform boots, I decided on wearing heeled lace-ups, a pair I found idling inside my closet, forgotten and dusty.

So suddenly, we were in Berlin. His jet landed at the airport, and a black car awaited us in the parking lot. He told me we were going to Kristoff’s place, and then we would fly to Kassel.

In the car, Glenn said to me, “I hope you don’t give Kristy a heart attack.”

“Why do you say that? How the Hell can I give your brother a heart attack?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“You almost gave me a heart attack the first time I saw you. You’re just capable of it — trust me.”

I took his hand, slowly trialing my other fingers over its length, a form of reassurance. I told him he didn’t have to worry.

“Is Kristoff gay–?”

“No.” Glenn gives me a blank look. “But Kraven, this isn’t about sexuality. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you look female — and my brother likes females. He doesn’t need to be gay to have a reaction. You’re pretty. You’re beautiful. I told him to back off, but my words alone can’t make him stop — but I’m not saying he might jump you — all I’m saying is that he can have a reaction — and that reaction can result in a heart attack.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t worry,” I stated flatly, bringing my legs up underneath me. “But if he does come onto me, I’ll kick his balls and pull his eyes out — is that okay?”

Glenn laughed, placing a warm kiss on top of my head.

“You really are something, Kraven.” He paused, looking at me carefully, a wry smile in place. “Have I ever told you I have the hugest crush on him?”

I pulled back from him, giving him a queer eye, not understanding. “On your brother?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

I shook my head slowly, bewildered. “No, you have not. Do you want to explain — just so my imagination can’t run wild with crazy ideas?”

He grew quiet for a minute, probably thinking about it, wondering how he would explain this “crush” on his older brother to me.

“I don’t know how it started, but I knew I liked him when I realized I liked guys — and I guess I should say I established my sexuality when I first started liking him. Does that make sense?”

“No — yes. Kind of.”

“Well, I liked Kristoff. I dreamt of sleeping on the same bed with him like when we were smaller; I dreamt of kissing him. I couldn’t look at him without thinking I wanted to feel those lips of his — maybe you’ll understand when you meet him, but I don’t know. I liked how he was protective over me, how he let me hang around with him and his friends while they smoked pot in his basement bedroom, how he was always there. I knew it wasn’t very acceptable, so I dated other guys. I mean, I still like him now — but I keep finding great guys, and I try to work it out with them.”

The car stopped right after Glenn’s attempt. He urged me out, telling me I could go ahead, telling me Kristoff lived in the second building. His door was the black one crossed out in red.

I located the unique door and climbed the small stone steps, straightening my skirt after I realized it wasn’t straight enough. I leaned against the railing, waiting for Glenn. I didn’t want to knock on a stranger’s door.

But it didn’t matter whether I knocked or not ‘cause the door swung open and a tall, skinny brunette walked out in his boxers. His bloodshot eyes squinted in the sunlight, so he provided shade with his hand, looking out into the street. I stood still, wondering whether he noticed me or not. He finished observing the world and turned around, grumbling — and finally seeing me.

He stopped walking. He stopped grumbling. His eyebrow quirked; his eyes roved, trying to identify me.

“Who are you?” he asked, his eyes landing on my face, his expression dull.

“Your brother’s boyfriend,” I responded, shifting from one foot to the other, crossing my arms nervously. He had nice light brown eyes, and almost-matching brown hair, different from Glenn’s green and black. I wondered whether this really was Glenn’s brother.

“So you’re Kraven, Glenn’s new boyfriend. Why are you wearing a skirt, then?”

I shrugged, slightly surprised by the deepness of his voice. It wasn’t too evident when he talked before.

“Because I can,” I replied.

“Where’s Glenn?” he asked instead of continuing our awkward conversation. He stared at me with an intimidating gaze, making me shiver. I stared at the various tattoos covering his body. Some traveled up his body, touching his neck; others went south, disappearing under his boxers.

“Talking to the driver, I think. He didn’t really say. He just sent me here.”

“And you weren’t thinking of knocking.”

“No. I wasn’t going to knock on a stranger’s door.”

We stared at each other for another moment before he broke our gaze, scratching his bare stomach. He silently walked back into his house, leaving the door wide open.

I followed him inside, standing in the foyer — clueless as to what to do — before walking into the living room, where Kristoff sat on a couch. He had quickly slipped on a pair of faded black jeans and a Sex Pistols t-shirt.

“Thanks for welcoming yourself in,” he caustically muttered, lighting a cigarette. He caught my eye and smirked. “Want one?”
“I quit a while ago.”

“That sucks — well, I guess it’s a good thing. Glenn hates the smell of cigarettes. He hates smoking, drugs, and alcohol. He’s too straightedge. Why the fuck he runs the Morbid Massacre is a mystery.”

“I didn’t know.”

He gave me another void look, blank and dull, the cigarette dangling off his lips. He looked away, relaxing against the couch. I sat on another couch, sitting quietly and obediently. We waited in silence.

Glenn walked in minutes later, smiling broadly, a fake smile meant to fool both of us. I guess it was difficult to be in the same room as your boyfriend and the guy you’ve crushed on for so long, someone who happened to be kin.

“Did you call Dad?” he asked Kristoff, standing above me, his plastic smile evaporating to a slight grin.

Kristoff blew a dirty cloud in Glenn’s direction. He said, “Yeah. He said we could go over whenever. The conversation was listless as always.” He took another drag, exhaling upward. “Are we leaving yet?”

“If you want — oh, I guess I should formally introduce you two.” Glenn stood beside me now, happily introducing us. “Kristy, this is Kraven. Kraven, this is Kristy.”

Kristoff put out his cigarette. “Yeah, we met. I met your girlfriend,” he replied snidely.

“I am not a girl,” I growled, standing from the couch. “Do not imply I’m a girl.” I walked away angrily, disgusted and embarrassed and appalled — but mostly embarrassed.

I heard Glenn defend me. “Kristy, don’t be an asshole. I’ll rip your balls off if you make him walk away like that–”

But I couldn’t hear the rest of his defense. I was out the door and nearing the car in a minute. I calmed down completely when I entered the car, buckling the seatbelt and waiting for their arrival.

They poured into the car five minutes later, silent and neutral.

Twenty minutes later, we boarded the jet, still quiet, undisruptive.

In the air, Kristoff asked, “So — why do I have go?”

“Because I want you to go,” Glenn replied.

“And somehow I’m okay with that,” Kristoff mumbled. “I had a date scheduled for this afternoon — and that girl isn’t too easy to get a hold of. I had to blow her off. I’m sure I won’t be hearing from her again. The things I do for you, Glenn.”

I saw Glenn smile from the corner of my eye. I didn’t say anything, but I knew he was happy. He was happy because the guy he liked did so much for him. He fucking sacrificed a hot date for his younger brother. I didn’t know whether I was sad, mad, or just plain confused.

“I love you too, Kristy.”

After the flight, we flocked into another waiting car that drove us to the Detlev household. I ended up in the middle, sitting close to Glenn because I didn’t want to touch Kristoff. I didn’t want him to get any wrong ideas.

The car stopped in front of a homely, two-story building, a brownstone type home welcoming visitors. I could see myself living in that building — not with Glenn, but with another individual. I quickly chased the thought away.

I stared at it as Glenn led me out from one side. Kristoff exited through the other door, striding calmly toward the house. He lit another cigarette, inhaling and exhaling in a relaxed manner. He made smoking look cool.

Glenn and I leisurely followed him, hand in hand, my nervous hand in his sweaty palm. Again, I didn’t want to say anything. I let myself believe he was nervous because I was going to meet his parents and younger brother.

Kristoff got there before us, knocking on the door leisurely. A few seconds later, a miniature version of Glenn opens — a boy identical sans facial piercings and erratic hairstyle.

“Is this your new girlfriend?” the boy inquired, a broad smile on his innocent face.

Kristoff laughed, stomping on his used cigarette, glancing at Glenn, who looked ticked off.

“No, Flynn — this is my boyfriend Kraven–”

“Why is he dressed like a girl?”

“My thoughts exactly! See Flynn? We are brothers. No matter what Glenn tells you, we are brothers.”

Flynn stared at me, curiosity raging like a flame — bright and hot.

“Because he likes dressing like a girl–” Glenn started before I elbowed him in the abdomen.

“Is Mom home?” Kristoff asked, still amused by Flynn’s questions, pushing him aside and walking in.

“Oh yeah,” Flynn responded, following his oldest brother like a fan boy. “She’s crocheting in the den.”

“And Dad?” Glenn wheezed out, still in pain, also following the older brother.

I stood there awkwardly — again — deciding I should follow them, alone and forgotten.

“Kris? Glenn? Are you here already?” a male voice inquired from somewhere upstairs. Voice found body as he appeared on the upstairs landing, an older man, a combination of all three boys. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me as he walked down the stairs. “Oh? And who is this?”

“Glenn’s boyfriend! Isn’t he cute?” Flynn said, hopping away from the downstairs landing and into what I presumed was the kitchen, avoiding any possible criticism.

“Oh,” Glenn’s father said once he stood before us. “Quite charming.” He added dismissively, “Your mother has found herself a new hobby, it seems. She can be found in the drawing room.”

He offered me a paternal smile before moving on elsewhere.

“I’ll be upstairs,” Kristoff muttered. “Call me when dinner’s ready.”

Glenn and I entered the room where his mother resided, knitting something I couldn’t identify. She was the perfect Goth dressed in a freely flowing skirt reaching her ankles and a tight bodice over a loose blouse. All three boys definitely took more from their mother.

He cleared his throat, and she looked up. Her cat-eyes widened, brightening in surprise and delight.

She dropped her crocheting utensils in order to hug her son. Her purplish-black lips kissed all of Glenn’s face save for his own lips. She left no marks, surprising me. I admired her ability to keep every trace of makeup in place.

“Glenn! You’re here! Kristy is here too, I presume. Upstairs? Too lazy to greet his own mother? That boy — I taught him better.”

“Yes. He’s upstairs probably sleeping his troubles away. He dropped all his plans just for this.”

“Yet he doesn’t bother!” She stopped abruptly, noticing me quietly standing behind Glenn. Her lips curled up, a friendly smile, a genuine smile on plum lips. I envisioned Johnel in this woman’s shoes, but I couldn’t do it. Johnel was just too cruel in shape, too monochromatic in personality.

“This is your boyfriend? He’s so adorable!” She gives me a motherly embrace, a hug practically squeezing the living soul within me outward. She let me go, adding, “He reminds me of those early Batcavers. It’s cute.” She returned to her seat, picking up her fallen objects. “Although, he can add a few inches to himself. Those heels are too short.”

“That’s what makes him cute,” Glenn replied, pressing his lips against my temple. I felt myself blush.

“As long as he pleases you — I don’t mean to say — never mind,” she embarrassingly mumbled, bending over to finish her work.

“We’ll be outside,” Glenn told her to prevent any more awkward moments.

He pulled us out of the room, and I realized I hadn’t said anything to her. I forgetfully called out, “Pleasure meeting you Mrs. Detlev!”

“Mathilde!” she yelled out. “Call me Mathilde, sweetie!”

“I like her,” I said to Glenn. “She’s very — motherly.”

Glenn shrugged and replied, “Well, she’s my mother. I wouldn’t expect anything else from her.”
˜™XXX
“I assume he’s been turned,” Glenn’s father states at the dinner table, sipping on a glass of unknown liquid.

“Yes, he is. He’s been one for a year and a half. He resisted the first few months,” Glenn replied, although it wasn’t a question.

“You took him by force?” Mathilde asked, astounded, her silverware clinking against her plate.

I smiled at the thought of Glenn “taking me by force.” I fought the smile, but it won.

“Oh, no. I meant he didn’t succumb to my advances. It took us a while to actually become a couple.”

He seemed so comfortable talking to his parents. When I was still living in my parent’s house, I barely talked to them. We were on two different planets. Even then, as I sat inside the Detlev house, I didn’t speak to my parents regularly. They tried calling every month. I never intentionally picked up the phone.

“So, Kraven, how’s the baby coming along?” Mathilde asked nonchalantly, stuffing pasta into her little mouth.

I stared at her, bewildered and red-faced. I was disturbed.

“Um — I’m not preg–”

“Oh, I know, honey. I’m only kidding.”

I let out a nervous laugh, sipping out of my glass of water.

“Her humor is tad awry,” Glenn Senior explained, then asking, “Are you going to school?”

“No. I quit a little before I met Glenn.”

“Why is that?” Glenn Senior.

“I realized it just wasn’t for me. My parents flipped out when they found out. My father yelled at me over the phone,” I lied easily.

“What were you studying?” Mathilde asked.

“Well, I was just doing the introductory classes — the boring stuff.”

I wasn’t going to tell them I chose the same major as my ex-boyfriend, taking all the introductory courses corresponding to that major.

“Why do you dress like a girl?” Flynn asked again, abruptly, causing Kristoff to laugh again.

“Uh — because men’s clothes don’t flatter me. I look ugly in regular clothes,” I answered honestly.

“He does look bad in male clothing–,” Glenn began, but I pinched his thigh and he jumped, nearly dropping his drink.

“He looks awesome — I mean, you look awesome, Kraven,” Flynn said to his food — but I saw a pink blush crawling under his skin.

“He’s mine,” Glenn practically roared, slamming his fist lightly on the table.

“Oh, dear Lord, Mathilde, will we ever have grandchildren?” Glenn Senior sighed.

“I’m still here. There’s still hope,” Kristoff responded.

“But you see, Kristy, he purposely excluded you because you can’t keep a steady girlfriend,” Glenn rudely replied.

“No, no. I’m sure he’ll find the perfect girl somewhere. These things take time,” Mathilde said. “Your father and I didn’t marry until we were twenty-six and twenty-four, respectively — and Kris is only twenty-one–”

“–But he’s been through a million by now — I’m pretty sure that time is up. You can’t live young forever. Children just don’t come on their own,” Glenn easily snided, laughing to himself.

“Look who’s talking. You’re supposed to have children,” Kristoff muttered meanly.

I wondered why.